Caitie GibbonsHealth 4
Nyagatare District
Muraho! I’d like to begin with a quick hello, and shortintroduction. My name is Caitie Gibbons, I’m one of GAD’s three new members electedin October from Health 4. Our training group arrived in Rwanda May 2012; we arethe fourth group of health volunteers, and the seventh training group total incountry. I’m thrilled to be part of the PC Rwanda GAD committee, and am greatlylooking forward to working together in the upcoming year.
Last week I participated in my first camp. It was a BE camp(Boys Excelling), a PC Rwandan youth development club focused for boys. When Ifirst heard about BE back in September I was hesitant to jump on board. Mybackground seriously lacks any boys’ education, or boys’ development work. I’vealso worked with girls so much in the past that breaching to the other sidegave me a fear-of-the-unknown type feeling.
Mulling the opportunity over, the importance of working withboys became clear to me. While the answer may be obvious to some, it took mesome time to realize this: boys’ development is as essential as girls. Afterall, how can we achieve gender equality in Rwanda (and elsewhere) if we onlyeducate the girls? Both sides need to understand the importance of empoweringtheir own gender and each other; both sides need to be equal. Without the boysunderstanding what gender equality is, and why it is important, how can weachieve it?
With my new mindset I jumped on board with Camp BE, readyand willing to empower and educate. BE camp was an amazing experience for mefor several different reasons, but it also opened my eyes to the Rwandan maleperception.
At camp I taught a class on Relationship Building andPartnering in Gender Equality. During the class there was a list of scenariosasking boys what they would do in certain situations. The goal of thesescenarios was to open different discussions with each other on gender equality.Scenarios included: your wife gets sick and is unable to cook, clean, take careof children, what do you do? Or, you want to have sex with your girlfriend butshe does not, what do you do? Etc. I encouraged boys to think that there was noright or wrong answer. I wasn’t looking for a popcorn fluffy response on whatteacher wanted to hear. The scenario that got the most attention and appall was:your wife wants to be president someday. She is a leader in her community, andloves to lead. It is her goal and her dream in life. How do you respond to hergoal?
The most common responses were (verbatim):
- According to culture, it is not good. Thehusband has responsibility of taking care of family (financially).
They came from boys between the ages of fourteen and twenty-five.And yes, it broke my heart when one of my favorite students, who I brought tocamp, stood up in class and said no he would not support her, or would want hiswife to be a leader.
This is the current male perception of woman and their rolein the culture. For women to be successful, and make more money than theirhusbands is more often than not seen as having bad culture.
I tried to stay as neutral as I could during the classdiscussion. But lets be real, I went to an all girls high school that startedpumping feminism into me at age fourteen. My final plea to my students was forthem to communicate with their partners about their goals and dreams beforemarriage, and to reevaluate the relationship according to what each otherwanted from life. To have an open mind, and understanding of what their partnerswant from life. A woman is not a machine, a relationship should be equal, andrespected by both parties.
These discussions (and eye openers for myself) are why I ampassionate about gender development and support BE and GLOW (Girls Leading OurWorld) camps and clubs. So I encourage you, in whatever area you work in, andwherever you are to create and continue the discussion.
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