When You Are Depressed About Your Breakup

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By Marie Babenko

My heart goes out to you. Really it does. I remember perfectly what it feels like to have your heart broken along with all of the pain in those days that follow a breakup. What can you do during those times when you feel like there's no hope? How can you pull yourself up and push forward with your life? Is there really any point in even thinking about getting back together with your ex?

While other people may encourage you to simply move on and forget about your ex, I encourage you to keep your dream alive. If getting back together with your boyfriend or your husband is honestly what is going to make you happy then that is what you need to do. If the love that you once felt together was something unique and special then you shouldn't just throw it away. Don't' quit. Don't give up. You simply can't replace someone you love with any other human being.

The problem at hand though is what can you do right now to help to get you through the day? What can you do when you feel like your heart has been torn from your chest because you're just having a bad day or something has changed that makes you feel like you'll never be able to get your ex back? While being a little sad because you're away from the one you love is normal, what can you do when this grief starts to get in the way of you living your life and it becomes a problem?

Find a nice, quiet, out of the way place where you can be alone for a few minutes. Close your eyes and take a deep, cleansing breath. Feel the stress in your body and let go of it. Know that the feelings that you are having are normal. They are a self-defense mechanism in your body put there to help you to avoid painful situations. What we are going to do is change things up a little bit and instead of thinking negative thoughts or visualizing you getting hurt, we are going to think positive and pleasant thoughts.

Let me explain a little further what's going on inside of you. You're upset because you miss your ex. In addition, you are afraid that you're going to get hurt again. Your ex might reject you or you fear that you might never be able to win their heart back. You worry that it could take weeks or months to get them back and this pain that you're feeling might never stop. Then you prepare yourself for the fact that your ex might go off and start seeing someone else and that would destroy you. But if you can step outside of the situation and see into the future and believe that it is possible to win your ex back then nothing that is going on will seem very painful at all. You can remember how it felt to be with your ex and you can look to the future with anticipation of feeling that love again and the situation becomes bearable.

There will be times when you feel like just giving up. The pain is going to be there waiting for you from time to time. Your job is to look to the future and know without a doubt that the day will come when your ex will think of you and reach out to you if you play your cards right. Be brave enough to dream that dream. Don't let anyone steal that dream from you or tell you that it will never happen. It's entirely up to you and if you are patient and clever enough you really can win your ex back no matter what the circumstances are. No matter how bad things might seem, time will change everything if you simply let it.




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